Thursday, September 18, 2008


Let's get it out in the open right up front.

I fucking hate dentists. And I have an appointment in less than an hour.

When we were kids, we had an old dentist whose equipment was made in the mid to late 1800s. He was a sadist. He was 95 years old, couldn't see, and shook. Good qualities for a dentist.

He traumatized Betty and me so much that, as adults, we kind of... neglected to go to checkups.

Both of us were motivated to go back in the last few years by molars starting to break (some were nothing but filling; that old dentist was very liberal with the drill) and our dislike of pain. Broken molars hurt like a mofo. I ended up having two pulled because they came at a time that I simply couldn't afford to have root canals and crowns. By the time of the last incident two years ago, I had dental insurance (mostly worthless) and opted for a crown. No root canal. Yet.

So now my dental insurance (mostly worthless) will go up over 100% Oct. 1. The system has chosen the least expensive policy (mostly worthless) so we've decided to put away that money each month to use on dental bills. But till September 30, I still have insurance (mostly worthless) so Tom made an appointment for me to go in this morning. I won't make phone calls if I can avoid them and refused to go into the office to make the appointment myself.

Besides the sadist dentist we had as children, I dated a dentist who I'll call "Chip" (thinly-disguised) to protect him from angry patients who might read this. I've never met a man with more contempt for his patients. He bitched if they cancelled appointments because of illness, and he bitched if they didn't and came in and shared their germs.

It honestly makes me wary of all dentists.

So, I'm off to see the sadist wizard to see if he's any better than the others.

At least I still have dental insurance (mostly worthless).


Knitting Nurd said...

I once had a dentist (old bugger) slap me as a child and tell me my tooth didn't hurt because he numbed it. Ummm, excuse me!?!? I love my dentist I have now...of course, it helps that he has nice chiseled features I get to look at when he has me reclined in the chair. hehe

elisa said...

Oh my goodness - when you were in Sonora/Columbia, did you visit the dentist exhibit in Columbia? Because seriously - just viewing that exhibit made me scared of the dentist as a kid. Actually visiting a dentist like the one you described...well, I'd probably have no teeth now.

I'm sure that your visit will go fine today, and I'll send you some happy dentist thoughts. :)

Anonymous said...

Betty said....

I'm sorry that today is dentist day but I'm proud of you for going! It took many, many, many years to get over the trauma of old Dr. M. and I still get that "I've got to get out of here NOW" feeling when I'm in the dentist's chair.

Joan is having two teeth pulled today, so she's having a bad tooth day, too.


Jenny Girl said...

OMFG! I so feel for you. I am the same way, and dentists know they are not liked. My new one is a sweetie, but she is young and probably not jaded yet. I am so afraid of the pain too. Arrr...don't even get me started. good luck my friend. I support you in spirit.

Courtney said...

I hate the dentist too

Courtney said...

I used to live in Sonora AND Columbia :-) LOL

rita said...

No, we didn't visit the dentist exhibit; my old Dr. M. probably used the same instruments! I won't volutarily go near a dentist's utensil unless forced.

My new dentist is okay, although I don't think he actually touched me yesterday. The techs did all that stuff, then he breezed in and told me how much it'll cost.

I hate dentists.

Knit and fall back in it said...

The one (and only) thing keeping me from hating my dentist is that he is so freakin' GOOD-LOOKING!

If you can find a good-looking dentist in your area, I highly recommend it. It makes it so much easier to go.

rita said...

I couldn't see my dentist through his mask. And he's been divorced twice, at least; seems to be a pattern.

Elizabeth said...

now that you've said "Chip" I can't remember his real name!! But I have a cheer that Jennifer wrote coming back to me....about "J...." do you remember that one?! I'm trying to think if we got in trouble for it and If I shouldn't repeat it. -LIZ

rita said...

Liz, I don't remember the cheer you're talking about, but I bet it's a good one. Go on and share it with us! You won't get into trouble now. That was years ago.

Remember all the things that Jesse has told us? Stuff he'd have been in time-out forever for? Hilarious stuff!

Elizabeth said...

Okay here goes....


Is that how you spell rott?

Love you!