The Infernal Revenue Antiservice

I've debated about this post; do I want to risk bringing the IRAS' wrath upon my head? Audits? Fees? Lies?

We bought a house last year. My name is on it. I haven't owned a house in over 10 years. We qualify for the homeowners' rebate that the IRAS trumpeted about so much in the last year.

I'm convinced that the IRAS has done everything possible to make it almost impossible to get this rebate. In spite of urging everyone to file electronically for everything else, to apply for this rebate one had to send in reams of paperwork. While other people were getting their normal refunds within days, this one takes weeks.

No, wait, it's been over two months since we sent it all in.

And it gets better.

There's a web page where one can check his refund status. I check that page daily. At first it told us that we'd have our refund April 27. Then May 15. Then it said that we needed to call them. So Tom called. They didn't have any of our paperwork. We had to send it all in again. However, somehow they knew that we'd sent it in, but they couldn't find it. Doesn't make sense to me, but then the IRAS makes anything but sense.

So Tom faxed all of the papers again. Soon the web page said that we'd been approved for the rebate and we'd get it around June 1.

Then June 15.

Then the page again said to call them.

They've decided that we don't qualify. We can reapply, but we have to wait until they send us a letter about it. Around June 7.

As each stalling technique appeared, I became more and more convinced that this program is all a big lie. Now the news is so excited that homebuying was UP because of the rebate program. I'm betting that many of those excited homeowners are also finding out that they don't qualify. However, with the possibility of an $8000 check being waved around our noses, we'll all jump in and keep trying.

Lemmings. We're all lemmings.



P.S. Our accountant says that 80% of the rebate requests are currently being refused. Why am I not surprised?

I love Google

Have you noticed the cute things that Google does on holidays, like clovers and stuff for St. Patrick's Day, to the heading "Google"? I expected something big from them yesterday, April Fool's Day, but apparently they're a lot smarter, and quieter, than I am.

I even told A, and patiently waited while she laboriously wrote www.google.com, to check it and see what cute thing they did for April 1. She was really excited about googling something.

Then I got to school and checked, and nothing. Nothing at all. I was so disappointed and hated that I'd apparently lied to my granddaughter.

But last night before I went to bed, I went to google something and there it was, in a tiny link underneath the search box. A link to Virgle, an enterprise founded by Virgin Records owner and the founders of Google, complete with application to join their venture. From Wikipedia:

"Virgle

Google announces a joint project with the Virgin Group that aims to establish a permanent human settlement on Mars (http://www.google.com/virgle/index.html). This operation has been named Project Virgle. it also includes videos of Richard Branson as well as Larry Page & Sergey Brin (The Founders of Google) on YouTube , talking about Virgle.[1] The site even includes a comedic "Application" to join in the settlement. The application includes questions like "What is your major?" A. Physics, B. First Aid, C. Engineering, or D. Guitar Hero II. After submitting the application, the site either notifies you that you are not fit for space, or that application is fine and that "all you have to do is submit your video [as a response to their video on YouTube]." The creators of Virgle wish to convey the following -- 'So long, and thanks for all the fish!'"

They didn't let me (and the world of Google fans) down. But how on Earth am I going to explain that to an 8-year-old???

The History of the Middle Finger

Sent to me by my cousin:

Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that
I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent
friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history
more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating
victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of
all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would
be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and
therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This
famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew
tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking
the yew' (or 'pluck yew').

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major
upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle
fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck
yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult
consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a
labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in
conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the
pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the
symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.

No Great Dane

Okay, even if we could get the house in Homestead, I'd have to give up the idea of a huge guard dog. On the way home this afternoon, I saw one out in his yard taking a dump.

Big big difference between Yorkie poop and Great Dane poop. Just sayin'.